Monday, March 19, 2012

The 1/2 Marathon, or the *@%$#~!! blustery day.

 Last October we had Stake Conference in our "new" ward (we've almost been here a year {whoa!} but it still seems new) and one of the counselors got up and spoke at the Saturday session, mentioning that he has just completed a marathon that morning and to please forgive him if he fell asleep mid-talk because marathon's tend to make him sleepy and he forgot he had one scheduled on the same day as stake conference. Everyone chuckled. Later the stake president got up to talk and said he was surprised that someone could forget that they would be having a near death experience but he was grateful that his counselor could be here as planned. I thought, ha, that's funny because marathons are hard! Ha ha.... ha. A little over a month later I signed up for my first half marathon. I figured, hey, I can run 6-7 miles without too much trouble, I'm sure I can double my mileage in four months and run 13.1 miles. It won't take as long as training for a marathon, not to mention the fact that I don't want to run a marathon* , and it'll be a good way to train through the winter even though I was short on training companions and motivation. I signed up for the Canyonlands Half Marathon in Moab with my aunt Janet, and even though she had to back out later, I still remained committed. I ran 11.3 miles about four weeks before the event, and proceeded to hurt my knee. I thought I needed to get new shoes, but I postponed because I didn't have the money for new shoes (a cool $100 for the kind I want/only kind I will buy now makes it hard to justify buying new ones often). I tapered off my training and got my knee looked at by my chiropractor/massage therapist, and got on the road to recovery without buying new shoes. But because of this I never did get around to running 13.1 miles before racing 13.1 miles. I didn't think this would be a problem because hey, most first-timers don't train for the whole race and still do fine. Please note, this was mistake #1.

I didn't look for a hotel for the race until the beginning of January, thinking I will so get a jump on things by booking a hotel two months before the race. Oops, no hotels available. Luckily Janet saved my bacon by thinking ahead and getting a room before she even registered for the race. We'll call this mistake #1.5, because it was corrected. She let me have the room even when she had to drop out, sweetie that she is.

The day before the race came, and I started to look at what I should be eating before the race. Mistake #2.5. I hadn't been eating enough carbs, and I hadn't practiced running with the goo or other supplements you can eat during the race to maintain your energy. I got super nervous. I tried to think of what I could do to correct the mistake, but all the websites and training advice said to not eat anything different that what you have been doing because you can screw up your digestive system and have some digestive problems during the race. So I did nothing. This was mistake #3. I should have eaten a lot more food than I did the day before and the day of the race. But because I was so nervous, I didn't. I could tell I needed to have more reserves during the race. It would have helped me a lot. I also was not practiced in eating/drinking goo. I tried twice to consume some goo during the race and only got half a packet down before my throat (and tongue, those things are gross) revolted. I need to find a better flavor, if it exists, and force myself to eat them at more regular intervals. I tried at mile 6 and mile 10. Yuck yuck yuck. But I desperately needed the fuel, so I risked taking them. I'm glad I didn't have need of a bathroom mid race. A lot of people did, and I saw at least one girl who could not wait until the next port-a-potty and peeled off the side of the road to do her business in the bushes. Gross.

Me boarding the bus, 2.5 hours before the race started. We had to wait at the starting line until 10 am so they could close the highway for us to run on. 

All these rookie mistakes aside, the race still would have gone better than it had if there had not been a few unforeseen circumstances. First, and well, the biggest reason really, was the weather.  It was warm. That may not seem like a big deal, but if you have been training for four months in temperatures that were always lower that 40 degrees, running in 70 degrees in the sun is HOT. My body was just not well adapted to it, and I was so thirsty. Even stopping at every water station and drinking two cups of water, or one cup of water and one cup of Gatorade was not enough to keep me hydrated. It took a big toll on me. If I had been running in 45 degree weather, I would have coped a lot better. Second weather problem was the wind. It was windy that day. Not just breezy, some light wind, or even some wind that makes you think, oh, that was a bit hard to run through, thank goodness it's over. It was an almost constant, hard wind for the whole race, peaking in strength at mile 10-12.5 The wind was between 30-35 mph, with gusts over 55 mph. Every runner was affected. Coming out of the canyon and into Moab proper was beastly. You went from strong intermittent wind that sometimes felt like it was forcing too much air into your lungs so you felt like you had to either swallow air or stop breathing to be comfortable, to wind that made you have to bend double to keep dirt out of your eyes and mouth and stay upright. I felt like I had weights not only on my legs, but on my arms because it was blowing so hard it was difficult to swing my arms back and forth. It felt like I was running continually uphill in water. Today, the muscles that are the most sore are my quads, shoulders, and neck from hunching while running. It was mentally and physically exhausting to run in that wind. I just felt like I literally could not finish the race. People were stopping to walk all around me, and eventually I had to stop and walk too, several times. Finally a very tall old man passed me, and in my desperation I used him to block the wind for me so I could have some respite. It worked, very well apparently because when I left this man at the next water station, several shorter people directly behind me fell out of line.

I will not kid you, when I had to stop and walk I felt like a failure. I had never had to stop and walk in a race before. I had been sorely tempted many times, but I had always been able to preserver and finish the race strong. This time was different because I was in doubt as to whether I would be able to finish the race at all. Mentally I was spent. I was so discouraged. My body hurt, my mile 11 time was 11:34, and I was 9 minutes behind my pace. I decided at the last water station as mile 12 that I would run the whole last mile. I made it, barely. I swear they kept moving the yellow finishing banner the whole time, and I thought my watch had broken because even though the time kept ticking on by, my mileage seemed to stop. But I did cross the finish line. First time ever that I did not sprint, I had nothing left. As a result, about 20 people passed me right at the end. I didn't care. I found Doug waving and smiling and saying "Good job!" after the finish line, and I just started to cry. As I leaned on him for so much needed support to stay standing, I said "That was horrible! I'm never doing this again!" He was concerned, and asked me if I needed anything. Right then I saw another racer walk by with chocolate milk. "I need chocolate milk, and I need to sit down. Now." So I went and got milk and an orange. In the snack line they had bananas, oranges, bread, cheese sticks, cookies, chips, and chocolate. My body felt like it wanted to puke at the sight of food at the time, but even now I have to wonder, who the heck wants to eat chocolate and chips right after a race! Gross! Personally I didn't want to eat anything for about three hours after the race. I shocked my body too badly. After I got food I tried to sit down, I really did, but my legs wouldn't stop moving. Finally Doug asked me if I was going to sit or what, then made me sit down when I told him my predicament. It hurt to sit, oh how it hurt. And then later I had to get up. That was bad.

 Me and my much needed chocolate milk.

Anyway, this seems like a really long blog post about me complaining about my self-inflicted pain. And it is, but I'm doing it for a very good reason. Immediately after the race, I swore to Doug that I would never run more than 6 miles ever again. About four hours after the race, I  was thinking about what I could have done to make the race go smoother. The next day I was thinking about how long I should recover before I started running again. And today I thought about how I could do better in my next race.....And I've officially decided that racing is like having babies. You go through all that pain, anguish and discomfort and think "Whoa! I don't want to do this again soon/ever again!" And then time passes and you think about doing it again, and then you do it again, and then you remember why you didn't want to do it again in the first place. Racing is like that, at least for me. I went through @#!*% . I cussed like a sailor (at least in my head), prayed over and over again to God to help me get through this, almost gave up, cried, and hated almost every minute of the race after the 8th mile, and yet I'm still considering doing it again! Runners are crazy, and I am one of the craziest.

 Trying to sit down. 
Almost there!

Oh it hurts. So bad.

For the record, my time according to my watch, which I started as I crossed the starting line and stopped at the finishing line, and I didn't cheat like I wanted to and stopped the watch at every water station I walked through, was 2:06:52. My goal was to finish the race in under two hours, which I obviously didn't do. But I didn't feel too terrible about my time after I heard that the top racers and even the pace racers (people who run with a flag on their back marking the time they are predicted to finish the race, and are usually spot on) were five minutes off their times. So if I had not had the wind to deal with, I would have gotten a lot closer to my goal time. If I had not gotten three side aches and started my period yesterday (Oh, that makes a difference? Yes, yes it does. A big one.) I might have even met my goal time. Oh well, maybe next time.....


 This is me about 15 minutes after finishing. I kept telling Doug I didn't want my picture taken, but he said I would want them later. I can't decide if he was right yet.


There were some good parts about the experience that were not associated with the actual running part of the trip. First was that I got to spend a night away from the kids with my husband, which is always awesome because he is so awesome. We got to explore Moab a bit, which was fun. I also had lots of fun in the hours before the race started meeting and talking with the racers. I met a very nice gay couple from New Mexico who were running the race for the third time together. They offered to get coffee with me, but I had to decline. :) I met a girl from Murray UT who had 4 kids and was running the race 1 year after getting in a bike accident and breaking all the bones in her ankle/leg and getting plates and screws put in. I met a girl from Boston who has a goal of running a 1/2 or full marathon in every state in her life. I told her about the Route 66 race my dad runs in October that spans Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri so she could knock out three states in one go. She seemed very interested. I also met two Canadians from Ontario who were my wind blocks at the race start while we waited for the gun to go off. They talked about free surgery in Canada, mooses and how to avoid them, and hockey. I liked them. :) So it wasn't a totally loss, just those 2 pesky hours towards the end of it all.

*Doug doesn't believe me, but I swear it's true. I DO NOT want to run a marathon. Opinion subject to change at a later date, but not at a soon later date, at a much much farther away later date.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

An hour in the life of Michael

Michael has started the adventure of climbing. It's been a little bit stressful. We've had to retire the bar stools because Michael can climb on them up onto the counter, or he can push them around the kitchen and them play with the light switches, stove, oven, etc. He can also do that with the kitchen chairs, and things may become desperate soon. Yesterday he discovered this little chair outside and brought it inside for his explorations. I was mostly ok with this because it limited his reach and it's easier to deal with when left around the house verses bigger chairs being left. These pictures were taken in about an hour, while I was getting dinner ready. More things happened, but since I was busy with dinner I couldn't get pictures of all of them.

















Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Dr. Nielsen

My pediatrician died this past weekend. Seems like an odd thing to blog about, but I'm pretty upset about it. Dr. Gregory Nielsen died of a brief illness that resulted in a high fever and a stroke. It happened so fast. He leaves behind a wife and four young kids. You can see his obituary here.  In tribute to his memory and good life, I would like to write about what he did personally for me and my family.

He's been with all my kids since birth. I remember when he came to the hospital right after I had Evelynn, I was still a little nervous about whether I had chosen the "right" doctor for my baby. He was still pretty young for a doctor, and he just seemed so... lanky. He was over 6'5" and looked a little bit like lurch (and I mean that in the nicest possible way). But he picked up my baby with his huge hands, and I remember thinking, this guy will NEVER drop my baby, his hands are huge! And for whatever reason, that comforted me. Then Evelynn had trouble gaining weight. He encouraged me to keep breast feeding as much as possible, which was a comfort to me because I was having such a crisis of identity that I could not feed my baby properly. When Eloise was born, and later Michael, and they also struggled to gain weight in the beginning, he took that in stride as just part of my children's growth process, and didn't scold me about doing something wrong. That was nice. He asked me on several occasions when illness struck my family what I thought was wrong, what I thought we should do, and what I thought about various treatments. It was nice to feel valued as the mother of my children, worthy of participating in their health care. Then last year came where I valued him the most. I was going in for the girls 3and 5 year appointment, and I had sick Michael in the sling on my chest. After checking out the girls, Dr. Nielsen noticed Michael's breathing, from across the room and in my sling. He asked to check him out. It sounded like the start if RSV, and he got the ball rolling, taking extra precautions and asking to see him again, without asking us to pay for another appointment, so he could keep and eye on him. He advised us to go to the hospital the next day, just to be safe, and he called me on the phone later that evening, when we had already checked into the hospital. He came and checked Michael out in the hospital during our stay. And I know that he was SUPER busy with other things, since that was the year of massive RSV outbreaks. He was always kind, always. It's going to be hard to choose another pediatrician. It seems odd, but I'm reluctant to get another one, even though Michael is due for his 18 month appointment, because I feel like I'm being disloyal, at least until after the funeral.

This death brings home the fact once again that life is fragile. Loved ones can be taken from you in a moment, whether you are ready or not. Makes me bring my loved ones in a little bit closer, makes me want to reach out to others a little bit more. I hope and pray no one gets taken from me anytime soon, but I am so thankful for the knowledge I have of eternal families. It doesn't make the pain any less, but it puts it in perspective.

Thank you for your service Dr. Nielsen.